Distractions

The benefits of not doing

Hocus Pocus

I feel like I have been a bit distracted this year. Out of all the available working days, I have taken almost a quarter of them off. We’ve had a lot of statutory holidays, we look after our grandson every Thursday, but I’ve also been away a lot. That’s not counting the ones consumed by my ‘bathroom refit’ project, which has certainly taken a lot of my attention and headspace as well.

I’ve fallen behind with my reading (the pile of books has got higher!), I haven’t posted on LinkedIn as much. It feels like I’ve only just about managed to write this every week and do the Work Punks podcast and that’s about all. I haven’t brought the intensity and application to Decrapify Work that I have in the past.

And yet …

It’s been a welcome change of gear and focus. It’s given me a bit of distance, allowed me to get out of the weeds and think about what I want to be doing. Or rather, not think about it, but allow the thoughts to come to me whilst I am doing something else. (Who knew plumbing could be a source of creativity?)

A less intense gaze can allow a different picture to emerge, a deeper truth. Counter-intuitively, concentrating less can provide greater clarity. It allows the signal to separate from the noise.

If you are of a similar vintage to me, you will recall the ‘Magic Eye’ craze. Newspapers would exploit their recently acquired colour printing capabilities to show images of apparently random colours and shapes. However, if you held them with a soft gaze, a picture would emerge - some of them in 3D! (This was before the internet, we had to make our own fun back then).

I’ve been using my own magic eye on my thoughts. A different picture has emerged. Or rather, is emerging. So I’m going to hold it in soft focus for a while longer, until it’s properly clear to me.

I have a tendency, when I come up against an obstacle or get stuck, to put my head down and push harder. To work my way through it. But actually, the best way forward is often to go and do something else. Even to do nothing. Let your unconscious figure it out and surface the truth that lies within you.

River Deep, Mountain High

This is somewhat heretical, though, isn’t it? I mean, we’re supposed to ‘always be hustling’, aren’t we? Actually stopping and doing nothing, that’s wasting time!

Even though I am naturally resistant to the hustle culture (to the point of being allergic to it), I find I have somehow bought into it a bit.

I thought that if I worked hard, I’d get on. I guess it’s why my response to obstacles is to push harder. In my mind, though, I’m a bit lazy and rather laid back. I like to figure things out first before taking action. I look down on people who just jump in and start doing things, who run around in circles in the vague hope that they will end up where they want to get to. They drive me nuts.

But I’ve somehow been infected with the idea of activity having primacy over outcome. I’m always busy, always thinking about the things that need doing, even as I try to resist it. I hate having a full schedule, I don’t like to have hard goals, I like to leave space for things to happen - but I’ve forgotten how to use that space, how to relax, how to do nothing and just daydream.

When I was on holiday as a child, I would sit on the beach and watch the waves lapping against the shore and just let my mind drift. As I got older, if I found myself by a river, I would stand and stare at the water moving silently past me. It’s relaxing, almost meditative.

So last week we were at our place in Norfolk, which is literally on the river bank. And how long did I spend gently contemplating its mysterious depths? None. I was busy, doing jobs (or entertaining friends, which is the fun bit).

Prompted by a conversation in Dialogic Drinks, I asked myself when I last just let myself get lost in the the flow of water. I can’t remember. Maybe when I went sailing last year? Although that’s ‘doing’ something, so, even though it’s restful mentally, it doesn’t really count. So when did I just sit on the bank, or on the beach, and watch the waters? I can’t remember.

And I don’t have to think about anything. I don’t work for anyone, I am not beholden to the demands of others (apart from my wife and family). I am in the fortunate position of being able to choose what I do. I can do nothing. But I seem to have forgotten how to.

That’s how deep the conditioning runs. I’ve been out of corporate for over 20 years now, and I’m still infected by busyness and hustle.

What is it like for people who are still in that world? The pressures are even greater today, the demands greater. The ureg to ‘hustle’ stronger.

It just not healthy.

We all need to spend time just looking at the water and letting our minds wander.

I’m Telling You Now

So I’ve been telling myself a story about myself that doesn’t actually fit the reality. In fact, I’ve been telling myself several stories that are untrue.

We all do this. We are terrible at seeing ourselves as we really are, for having an accurate perception of our own abilities. For example, if asked, 80% of us will say we are above average drivers. Clearly, we’re not very good at maths either!

Sometimes, a good friend will put us straight and tell us it like it is. Or we might work with a coach or a therapist who will help us reflect and see it for ourselves. However, when these stories align with wider stories that society tells itself, we are all blinded to the difference.

Hard work does not mean you will get on, it’s no guarantee of success, it just means you work harder.

Being busy is not making you more productive, it’s probably doing the opposite.

Multi-tasking is not a skill, it’s a failing, an inability to focus on what’s important.

Working for a large organisation does not give you greater security, you can be jettisoned in an instant.

We do not live in a meritocracy, who you know is still more important that what you know.

You can’t do anything you want, many options are closed to you by factors outside of your control.

Your success is not down to your talent and effort, it’s mostly down to luck, and most of that is due to the accident of birth.

You can’t see these stories for the false perceptions they are because they are so pervasive, so embedded in everyday life, peddled relentlessly in the media, by ‘influencers’, and through countless vapid memes.

But you can feel it. You feel the dissonance between the image you hold of yourself and the one that reality is reflecting back to you.

It starts as a mild discomfort, a slight unease. Over time, it grows, though, and becomes a mixture of feelings that persist. Dissatisfaction. Frustration. Confusion. Disenchantment. Anger.

Eventually, it will manifest itself physically. Constant tension. Anxiety. Poor sleep. Digestion problems like IBS. Rashes and other skin complaints. Neck and back pain. You’ll probably explain these away as ‘just getting old’, not getting to the gym enough or grabbing too many meals ‘on the run’. Lifestyle issues that you can put right ‘when the pressure’s off a bit’ (but the pressure’s never off because the corporate ratchet means it only goes one way. Up).

What happens next is not certain. You could stumble along, wounded but still walking, indefinitely. You could experience burn out. The physical effects may grow into a serious health issue that forces you stop and reassess. You might have a break down, a mental health crisis that does the same. Or worse.

At some point, there is a reckoning. You can either just hope the crisis is not fatal, or too damaging; or you can take some steps to avoid it. You can work to recognise the stories you are telling yourself that are false, and create some new ones that are based in reality and serve you better.

But there may still be deeper stories that you need to examine.

That’s where I am. To my surprise. I though I had worked through my stories but it seems I’ve come to another layer. So I have to start the work over again.

Another layer of the onion. There’s always another layer, it seems.

We all in the act of becoming. We are never finished.

On The Border

At the start of the year, before I got distracted, I contributed an article to Border|Land magazine, for an issue on productivity.

The magazine looks at how culture impacts business in direct and indirect ways, some obvious and some unexpected.

My piece, “It’s in the magic, not the numbers”, looks at how the focus on measurement has been at the expense of the thing that really affects productivity, the magic that occurs within and between people.

It begins with the following story:

I can tell you when I was most ‘Productive’ in my career. The time when I created the most value. I was Marketing Director for a small comms company and one of the sectors we specialised in was Maritime. 

A colleague, who ran customer software, wanted to talk about an idea for a new service. He’d talked to others, but was frustrated as no-one seemed to get it.

We spent a morning in a small meeting room with a flip-chart. After much questioning and back and forth, I drew what I thought he was describing on the flip chart. “Yes, yes! That’s it”, he exclaimed, “That’s what I’m talking about”. In the course of the next hour or so, we outlined a development plan, product definition and a marketing plan.

What we had come up with was a unique time & money saving ship-to-shore messaging service. We’d provide end-to-end support, a single point of contact, a single bill and my colleague had clients ready to buy it at a premium.

Off the back of that meeting and those few sheets of flip chart paper, we quickly delivered the first trial of the service to a client. It rapidly went into full production.

In 18 months, it became our most profitable product and soon after the biggest revenue earner. It kept the company afloat when other legacy revenue streams dried up, staving off closure until the business was bought by a competitor. 

That morning was, without doubt, the most productive and valuable few hours of my career. 

If I had done nothing else that year, it would have justified my salary. Hell, if I’d done nothing else during my three years with the company, it would still have been a great deal for them in terms of the value I helped create.

But would any of it show up on any measure of productivity out there then or now? Imagine walking past that meeting room and seeing the following; two blokes in a room, talking. And all we ‘produced’ was some flip chart sheets covered in semi-legible scribble. 

It wasn’t just that, of course. It was the combination of our years of experience and expertise in our respective fields. It was the close and trusting relationship we had built up previously that enabled us to ask stupid questions and share wild ideas. It was the energy we co-created in the room.

If I’d been being ‘productive’, if I’d been chasing ‘efficiency’, I might have refused the meeting so I could crack on with processing some paperwork and getting my inbox to zero. Because that was stuff I could measure to SHOW how productive I was.

You can read the rest of my article here.

I recommend you have a look at the rest of the magazine too, for some interesting takes on the issue (obviously, mine is the stand-out piece but the others are pretty good too ;-9).

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Just remember to stop and dream sometime soon, eh?